what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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