Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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