He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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