This dress was meant to end up on your floor
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
