Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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