I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
