as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So many bounce houses so little time
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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