he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
NoShamevember. You game?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
