Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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