As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i will never coherently bang her
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
