Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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