were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
