last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
