Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
