so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The best revenge is premature balding
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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