wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
