hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
