batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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