so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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