super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
