thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
