So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
