Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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