Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize