when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
