i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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