Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
