You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think my vagina is haunted
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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