I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How does one acquire holy water?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm always down for nudity.
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