Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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