we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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