Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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