my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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