Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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