you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
