my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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