I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
