Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
PANTIES FOUND
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