Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize