my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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