Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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