Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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