i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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