Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
