OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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