There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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