Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
