That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
