wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize