I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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