His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
