at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize