He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
be right there i have to get my cape
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
