Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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