whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
