I have demons in me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
