Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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