How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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