Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.