So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.