i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers