I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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