i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize