I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
